Personal Musings

I wrote this way back in 2005... kinda liked it when I re-read it... so decided to post it here. The writing is so pretentious that I had a good laugh!!!

01/ 06/ 05

I am caught in this amazingly crazy situation. On one hand there is this need to get to office on time ie exactly by 0900 hrs and on the other hand is the non-availability of transport – a convenient mode of transport which would drop me at the doors of office preferably at 0857hrs. I am partial to the thought of a four-wheeler but a three- wheeler will also do.

I do not own a four-wheeler. So, I have to take the transportation provided by the government! Now, let me clarify that, I have no complaints about this chauffeur driven, right on time vehicle. But … (as there always is a but after a good sentence) I do tend to feel a tad bit claustrophobic inside these not-so-good-looking four wheelers. Then again, claustrophobia is good since, it makes one appreciate the space and freedom one has inside a private vehicle! However, I do object to being subject to such ungainly phobias first thing in the morning. It is ruinous to my sunny disposition. And to add to this, these vehicles have specific routes laid out for them and stick to these routes without taking into consideration the passenger’s destination. Bringing down this issue to a more personal level I do not have a vehicle that picks me up from my residence and drops me off at the doorsteps of my office. So I am forced to mix – and – match my mode of transport.

You may wonder why I do not then opt for the three-wheeled transport. Well, let me explain - after having experienced few rides in the aforementioned vehicle I have come to the conclusion that I would be more comfortable on a roller-coaster, which appears to be more stable, than the funny-shaped, permanently out – of – control machines. Also, I am forced to mention that traveling in one of these vehicles makes one’s pocket shrink considerably faster than the slot machines in a casino.

Hence, my quest for a convenient mode of transport to the office to reach just-in-time is thwarted even before it starts!

And the consequence is that the travel to earn my bread and butter involves maximum amount of discomfort and inconvenience. To start, I have to get on to one of those unseemly four-wheeled giants that ply the roads at the crack of dawn. Why crack of dawn? That is to avoid the claustrophobia induced irritability at the office. This journey is flagged off from a stop close to my residence at 0730hrs. But the journey is incomplete as the vehicle travels only ¾ of my destination. For the rest I am forced to take a three-wheeled transport.

The end result: I land in the office a good ½ an hour in advance.

At this juncture I am forced to ask the question - what do I do once I get to the office???

Under normal circumstances I would have a lot to do… and my ½ hr will be well utilized. But this is no normal circumstance … I am a new recruit here… I have been assigned a task but I need to be properly introduced in order to start the day’s work. So here I am twiddling my thumbs in the early hours of the day. I have been asked to chill out for a couple of days. So here I am, sitting right under the swinging nose of the Air-Conditioner, chilling out.

I have read every single magazine, write-up I can lay my hands on … in order to read I have stuck matchsticks through my eyelids to keep my drowsy eyes open. My sleep-drenched brain singularly lacks comprehensive power so I decided to awaken it by writing. So here I am typing out this junk in order to keep myself awake. I fear that if I chill out anymore the tiny, shriveled, almost dead grey cells inside my head will get frozen!!!

Its Crime and Punishment

Yes...

Dostoyevsky is truly amazing... I have been reading for the last 2 days "Crime and Punishment" and WOW... actually I read this book when I was around 17, got it from the college library... but it somehow didn't make the same impression.

And now I am unable to put the book down... next on list is The Brothers Karamazov. I just thought i'd take some timeout from reading and that is how I landed in front of the computer and started some more reading! Now I am off to help feed my son... thensome grocery shopping...

Am happy that it is Sunday!!!

Merin's Must Do List - Post II

I have decided that my Must Do List will have just 10 items. The list will not be ambiguous and will have specific activities or targets that I need to achieve within my life time... post lifetime... I'll blog from after life!

21 February 2008
You know its been agessince I started this post ... and I still have not been able to make my Must Do List. Christ! How I have come to lead such a singularly purposeless life - I do not know!

I have not yet started on item 1 of the list. I have been pondering and wondering - nothing seems to catch my fancy!

Pre marriage was a different story - I did what my mind told me. My mind said "Merin Go there" - and I went! It said "Merin Do that" - and I did!

Post marriage and post one sweet adorable kid... my mind is as blank as it can ever get! Does marriage do that to everyone or has it just done that to me?

My To Do List...

This is a directive on what I want from my life. It is not just To Do... it is Must Do ... This is not a list of various activities I have to do ... it is not something I create everyday!... No...

This is a list I want for life! May be I'll call it my must do list then! Yes...

Merin's Must Do List...

The issue with a to do list is that - one has to do something about it! :)... I know it sounds silly!

I have a feeling that creating the list will not be the issue... the issue will to to create the action plan to implement the list! Creating a To Do List is an action plan for life... now this is scary!

When I started making the list, I realised that merely writing the words will not do... it has to be well thought out and each thing I must do in life before I kicked the bucket must add something to me... the more I think about it the more I have come to fear the list... I am defining my life with the list... what happens if the definition stays incomplete or undoable...

The only reason the list will remain undoable is because I do not permit it... I will have no one else to blame... I am responsible for the list!

God... What have I got myself into?

Map of Bones

I was reading James Rollins "Map of Bones" and completed the book yesterday night. I bought the book cause I liked "Judas Strain" by the same author. But 'Map of Bones' was a letdown!

Want to buy the book The Time of Our Singing... have been eyeing it for long... never got around to buying it!

What else do I do with all the time in my hands now. Yes I play with my son, I read, I hate cooking so I don't do it (And I thank the almighty for a wonderful Mom-in law), I ocassionaly write- what else? what else??

Am planning on going to Kalashetra tomorrow... a crafts show is happening there - so that may prove interesting... that apart I will also get to meet Rushad (Danesh's Son)

Tomorrow is Pongal - the Tamil Nadu Harvest festival... am looking forward to eating some yummy sweets!!!

Mid noon- Another day

Thank fully we have sent all pravasis home. So now I am back to mundane things in office and ofcourse I have been reading and reading and reading...

Started with few book reviews so visited Guardian and did a search for the book - no help there... then checked the rest of the web - of the 22 reviews I read on a book -11 were for it and the rest against - now I am caught in a quandry should I buy it and read - or borrow- read it then buy?

On book reviews - well I have learnt not to trust any of them any which ways - they just tend to confuse!

WOW... Another year just ran past me!!!

2008... You just ran past me!
There I was meandering through 2007...
Blissfully unaware that come December and
My life was about to change!

2008... You just ran past me!
First, Pa Drake left... then I left the team...
All that remained was Hema:)
So she joined another team

2008... You just ran past me!
The rest of the year was clouded in pain
With brief intermissions of relief.
Then suddenly it was the very last day of the year!

2008... You just ran past me!
What have I got to show for the year gone by
What has become of the grand plans and small schemes
By god What am I? - Woman or____

2008... You just ran past me!

Wow... and how my life changed!