I watched Shylock yesterday!

Shylock is the latest pantomime by The Little Theatre.

How was it?

For some weird reason, I had assumed that the primary audience for the panto were children. I was disappointed. The sexual innuendo throughout the panto really got on my nerves (may be I have weak nerves). The panto would appeal better to boys and men in the age group of 15 - 35 - ok... may be some girls and women too. The sad part was that the audience comprised of a fair number of kids (mine included).

That said - few characters were brilliantly potrayed by the actors. These included - Dame Nerissa, Gobo,and of course the twins - Gratuitous and Gratuipous . The three witches and the crows were uninhibited. I enjoyed them.

The main characters including the actors playing the characters of Bassanio, and Portia didn't click with me at all. Even Shylock despite the title had little to do... Boring!

Over all - OK in parts... recommend you to watch it inspite of its shortfalls.

Oh... The irony of it!

There I was sitting in a train reading "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins when

- I noticed that the gentleman seated next to me was reading "Messages from Bhagvad Gita"
- Another gentleman seated opposite to me was wearing a T-Shirt which proclaimed "1Saviour + 3Nails = 4Given"
- and a couple seated behind me were talking to me about the message from a preacher during a prayer meeting and requesting whoever was at the other end to pray for them
- and the best bit was every time I looked out of the window of the train... I saw either a temple or a Church (I suppose I missed out on the occassional mosques)

I have travelled by train frequently ... but I have never ever come across so many religious messages at one go - Delusion... really?

Lunch and aftermath :)

I find it strange... I am having an affair and I didn't even know about it! Where was I when it happened?

Well the story goes thus. I had lunch with a friend yesterday and I upgraded this person to "Very Special" friend status.

The accusation and the grapevine is this - "You went out for lunch and stayed 'missing' for 3 hrs. What is happening?"

Well I suppose three hours is enough to do anything one plans to do! According to Paulo Coelho an all consuming grand affair can happen in eleven minutes!:)I guess age of the concerned parties also must count!

I have not much liking for the word 'Affair" though. Much maligned and degraded. Much better in conveying mystery is the phrase "illicit relationship.'

I have decided that I will never have an affair - If I have one (or many) then it will be an "illicit relationship" only. Now that I have the name clarified, I'll work out the modus operandi.

BTW - the lunch was good... The salads were excellent. The aftermath has been interesting to say the very least.

Should I say "Thank you God"?

"A judge in Malaysia has upheld a court verdict to cane a Muslim woman for drinking beer, news reports said Monday, re-igniting a controversy over Islamic justice in this moderate Muslim-majority country"...

We are back to religion, women and its implications.why do people take it upon themselves to deliver "God's" punishments and in some cases blessings is beyond my understanding. Who will beat the beaters? :)

God Almighty, my blog is becoming a rant against religious/ male chauvinism? Well I'll blame my writing on the indecisiveness of God and the much delayed divine intervention.

Now, who or what gives authority to some to tyrannize? of course the tyrannized themselves. To put it in more precise words - when you are willing to take shit :)- there are enough people to load it onto you :).

I suppose living by any religious/ non-religious code has its repercussion. When I commit to an ideology it becomes a 'moral' obligation on my part to uphold the ideology. Accepted. But what if I am born into the ideology and am shamed into upholding it?Ah...then one suffers:).

You can either choose to suffer with a smile or beat your chest/ pull your hair in despair and still suffer or of course ask the tyrants to go take a hike and live your own life with your own rules.

Ayesha and Burqa - and Indian Woman

and here I was crying about Goddesses who are not passionately loved or allowed to love passionatley! :)

Well Heads - they win tails I lose...

I say I want to wear burqa/ ghunghat/ whatever because 'I believe'. Then I am d*****d as a religious zealot. I say I do not wear burqa/ ghunghat/.... I am still dam*** for not being religious enough. It is strange that the burqa is taking the space of Christine on my blog.

But I am quiet zapped by the plight of Ayesha. Did she follow her religious inclination and make a stand for herself ( I sincerely wish this is the case)? Or is it a standoff between two opposing religions in the guise of a hapless young girl who may be caught in a war not of her own making? Where will the war take her once the media spotlight moves on to the next intersting story? What is to become of her? I am worried... for her, her family, the over all implication of the burqa ban in the college... I ask the question - where are we going?

India has had more that it share of religiously violent incidents. Is it one more fissure in the already fragile fabric of communal harmony? Will people mend it? Do we have to adapt the same identity, same dress, same language etc to prove our belonging to the country? What is the identity of India?

I have never dreamt of being in any other country other than India - have always felt proud in saying that I come from India. This is the country I call Home! I am an Indian - an Indian Woman.

Even Goddesses are bound!

I have been reading "Histroy of Early India - From Origin to AD 1300" by Romila Thapar...

In the chapter "The Peninsula: Emerging Regional Kingdom" I came across a particular portion that really tickled my brain. This was about the Tamil devotionalism and alternate religious movemnets.

I quote from the chapter "Nammalvar, in one of his poems, imagines himself as a woman in relationship with the deity who is a male. But passionate love of a male poet for a godess was not encouraged. Although godddesses were widely worshiped, they were rarely the focus in these poems."
-

Now this really made me feel sorry for the umpteen goddesses in Indian Mythology. I am actually sorry for the devotees too... Goddesses are bound by rules of monoandry/ Chastity and devotees only get a chance to worship her as mother (and no other relationship)... it is quiet unfair... whereas look at the Gods ... they still get to play the feild. And this is not just a case of religions from India... but world over.

Given that the primary proponents of religion have been men and the max adherents and gullible idiots have been women... its quiet sad that Goddesses don't get a chance to be passionately loved or love passionately - even through poems or the poets! :)

A dash of PINK!

I added a dash of pink to my blog today... actually changed its look completely!

Was feeling bored, work was not entertaining, boss was absent (not that he matters). I realised that the colour Pink is just what I needed to pep up the day... so I wore pink colour and decided to add a dash of pink to Merry Times.

This apart the days are not what they used to be - but then nostalgia is of no use what so ever... so I'll stop right there!

Today we are debating the +es and -ses of Marriage... I am still debating it in my mind - and I have not come to a conclusion to yet!

Day 3 of school

And Dhruv is down with fever and throat infection... hmmm... two months of virus and bacteria free time and two days in mixed environment and my baby goes down with a fever. Really!

Dhruv goes to School

Yes... he is three and a half and he started school today!
It went quiet smoothly... we dropped him off at 8.20 and picked him after an hour... he looked as if he was on the brink of tears but then decided not to cry.., I am proud of him :)!

That apart... work is starting rather slowly ... so am starting to work on it!

Sleep & dreams!

I am feeling soooooooooo sleeeeeeeeeeeeeepy!

I am scared to look at my keyboard . I feel that if I were to look down then my eyes would close and I would nod off and fly away to dream land.

Dream land reminds me of the dream I had this morning.. :))... it so funny - mixed with elements of mystrey, sex, some serious discussion and great fun! Well dream over, I wake up and get ready for office. Well I walk into the office - and I run into the hero of my dream :)... I really admire my self-control:)) 

Well that is my dream! But Dhruv .. has informed me that he doesn't like dreams. Yesterday night when I kissed him goodnight and said "sweet dreams"... he replied "Amma, I don't like dream land. I don't want dreams" He was quiet adamant about it and got distressed when I kept smiling at him. Finally, he went to sleep only after I told him that I'll keep all dreams tied in dream land!

:)

Ah... but resolutions are not meant to be kept

I resolved, I'd write everyday on the blog... but then I guess I have not been resolute enough.

I was on a holiday... and then when I joined office - I realised that blog had been disabled - phew... and that is the reason why until today I have not been able to log on to you dear merry times!

Hmmm... life has been nice and relaxed... but I am back to the dismal feeling of nothingness again...

My life pre-marriage was very different - my 'then' friends if they were to see me now would be taken aback. I have changed so ... so...much. I have surprised myself with all the change in me. 

Now it is just this - I miss feeling.
I miss the feeling that my life amounted to something
I miss doing something naughty
I miss doing something spontaneous
I miss passion
I even miss the booze

But then I have
an adorable kid
a cute hubby
a lovely family
and a slightly boring but stable work

hmmmmmmmmmm...

Another 4 days to go...

Wow... just another 4 days to go and I'll go on vacation for 4 good weeks... good riddance to all that I see as rubbish!

It'll be just my family and me! At the very least, it'll be a good break from this monotonous life in office. Maybe I'll be able to catch up with my sleep as well!

Currently reading Sandstrom by James Rollins...Will get back soon on how I found it!

Hmm... Cystic Ovaries

My scan report says small multiple cysts seen around both ovaries.

Well, I can't say I am surprised. Was expecting something of this sort for quiet some time now. Well my doc is going to be quiet furios with me... just that she's been after me for ages to get me to loose weight!

But my attempts at weight reduction gets to my crooked vertebra... so there!

Well need to meet the gynac today... but before that CC meeting calls... so here I go!

A new Easter Message...

I was just reading an article by Giles Fraser... who is Giles Fraser? Hmm... he is the vicar of Putney. Since my geography is quiet weak, I have no idea where Putney is but I liked the article.

In the article he wrote why it is important for Christians to move away from the sacrificial imagery so commonly applied to the death of Christ.

He writes "Jesus is not a blood sacrifice to appease a vicious God. The story (of crucifixtion) is not an endorsement of the idea that sacrifice brings peace with God but an attack on it. "I desire mercy, not sacrifice," Jesus insists, going on to side with the scapegoats themselves. The Gospel is clear. I am with the hunchback. I am with the one cast out. He became one with the rejected and the cast out. And thus he suffered the same fate. This is not to endorse sacrificial theology but to condemn it.

Yet despite this clear identification with the victim, much official Christianity holds on to the sacrificial reading of Christ's death. The present pope has insisted that the Eucharist must be seen as a sacrifice rather than as a meal among friends, and evangelical Christians remain committed to their theory of Christ being sacrificed to offset human sin."

My take on it - When was religion objective or violence free. All religions have endorsed violence in one form on another. Most religions are based on the basic premise - propagation of faith to bring the blinkered into its fold. This tenet in religions encourage violence of thought and violence in deed.

And as to what Mr Fraser is encouraging us to do - while it is admirable, it may not be possible. Re-interpretation of religion means questioning the basic foundation on which the religion is built over centuries. Once re-interpreted then it is open to re-re-interpretation everytime one feels compelled to do it!

But I still liked the message he wants to convey in his article.

Talk about Women and feminism....

We- my colleagues and I got talking about Women in general and interpretation of feminism in specific. Feminism to me is political, social, sexual, intellectual and economic rights equal to that of men.

Which ofcourse adds up to feminism being my personal right to take decisions that make my life my very own!... Be it economic or intellectual independence...

I have a colleague who says that his wife prefers Purdah as she is a devout muslim and feels incomplete without it. He says he has not influenced her in any manner on this choice. This led to some self -talk. Just cause Purdah is not something I would choose how do I discount or disagree with her choice.

And the self-talk led to the following clarifications. Purdah is not only recommended/ imposed in Islam but also in Hinduism and Christianity... The ghoonghat or draping the head and face is commonly practised in North India and different branches Christianity advocates scarfing the heads for different occassions.

This is where - I believe, intellectual independence comes into play! Intellectual independence comes into play were an individual and in particular the woman makes a learned choice which surpasses religion (in most cases, whose rules and regulations are drafted by men who in turn are influenced by their immense proximity to GOD and His thoughts)and boundry's set by society and its minnions (translate that to Men - who form the society).

Feminism - is a nice but much maligned word. I do not believe in man hating or man baiting... and i find Men moderately interesting. I believe that I am a feminist... and I am proud of this fact!

I have an attitude!

Merin has an attitude - This is an accusation aimed at me!

I have tried to analyse this accusation and am left wondering. What is wrong about having an attitude? What is the failing here... I mean... What does this 'attitude' mean?

I ask how can a person live without an attitude? I have of late come across few people who neither have an attitude nor any aspiration - hmmmm - I believe attitude-less people are generally waste - of - living space! It is better that they are not there!

Now - if this is the attitude - that one is complaining about, then Yes I need to be condemned

Another Thursday Trots Past

Today has been eventful again...

Dhruv was unwell - so the morning went past in a hurry.

Once I came into the office - I spoke and introduced a new recruit to her job of tele-calling.... then I got around to my work... which kinda meandered past me.
Now it is time to bid Pandian Sir Adieu!!!

Pandian Sir - Now this gentleman has been with this organsation for the last 28 years and retired on 31 March. Today we have organised a farewell party for him... So time to go... a cake awaits us and we need to eat it!!!

And thus ends the Thursday!

It is that day of the week!!

Ah... Monday... Monday
Fnally the day is over. I can't complain much about it as it was kinda productive. But I must mention that my back was kinda killing me today... 3 i-brufens were needed to kill the pain... which ... when one thinks about it is not much. There are people suffering worse pains :)... that is my silver lining.

Today was Vini Pooh's birthday... I didn't get her anything... kinda feeling sad about that. Actually I didn't get to talk to her much either! Hmmm...

Now let me get back home to my little one... its always good to listen to him chatter!

Big B and Blogging!

:)... I was searching for some information and came across The BIG B, his EF and the blog. As I was reading the blog what struck me was the man's amazing zest to write.

I do not comment on the content for that would be politically incorrect. And he writes beautifully which may be given that writing and poetry is in his blood :)... I ofcourse love his father's works!

But what struck me most was the unearthly hours he decides to write! And the point is that he decides to blog atleast few lines before he signs off for the day. It is truly inspirational...

I have decided that I am going to follow his route...

My oath - I solemly resolve to blog everyday for the rest of my life... even if I have nothing much to say!!!

Resolutions...

I have made one resolution today...to be happy every day of my life from here on... Does this mean I have not been happy - no... that is not the point. While the overall feeling/tone of my life has been happy - there have been bouts of unhappiness, that have clouded the otherwise clear sky of my life.

Today I have resolved that, I will from here on never let unhappiness and despair get to me - for I have discovered that such feelings are not worth the time I spend on it.

I have also resolved that (this becomes the second resolution)I will have one bout of hearty laugh everyday for the rest of my life.

Why these resolutions... This story has been going around the world wide web since 2005 and I came across it just recently... I would like to share it with you - this is a short story of Katie Kirkpatrick - Godwin


The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23.


The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US. Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication.


In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of chemo to end.


In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail.


The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss





An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well.



The other couple in the picture are Katie's parents. Excited to see their daughter marrying her high school sweetheart.



Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube , listening to a song from her husband and friends




At the reception, katie had to take a few rests. The pain did not allow her to stand for long periods. Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a woman so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think.....

Time for madness...

Having a drinking binge and puking your gut out is a good option :) - but nah... somehow seems so unfashinable , silly and painful to say the least!

Somke until one's lung burns out - sounds disgusting and the aftertaste and smell of mouth from the chain smoking binge is truly disgusting! So there goes that option.

Non stop dance marathon... hmmm... has some merit in it.... maybe it will help me get rid of atleast one handle!!!

A visit to the beach.... can't call it madness ... so the option goes out of the window!

Madness - is a strange word... all my suggestions for madness looks like sane choice for a peaceful mind!

Personal Musings

I wrote this way back in 2005... kinda liked it when I re-read it... so decided to post it here. The writing is so pretentious that I had a good laugh!!!

01/ 06/ 05

I am caught in this amazingly crazy situation. On one hand there is this need to get to office on time ie exactly by 0900 hrs and on the other hand is the non-availability of transport – a convenient mode of transport which would drop me at the doors of office preferably at 0857hrs. I am partial to the thought of a four-wheeler but a three- wheeler will also do.

I do not own a four-wheeler. So, I have to take the transportation provided by the government! Now, let me clarify that, I have no complaints about this chauffeur driven, right on time vehicle. But … (as there always is a but after a good sentence) I do tend to feel a tad bit claustrophobic inside these not-so-good-looking four wheelers. Then again, claustrophobia is good since, it makes one appreciate the space and freedom one has inside a private vehicle! However, I do object to being subject to such ungainly phobias first thing in the morning. It is ruinous to my sunny disposition. And to add to this, these vehicles have specific routes laid out for them and stick to these routes without taking into consideration the passenger’s destination. Bringing down this issue to a more personal level I do not have a vehicle that picks me up from my residence and drops me off at the doorsteps of my office. So I am forced to mix – and – match my mode of transport.

You may wonder why I do not then opt for the three-wheeled transport. Well, let me explain - after having experienced few rides in the aforementioned vehicle I have come to the conclusion that I would be more comfortable on a roller-coaster, which appears to be more stable, than the funny-shaped, permanently out – of – control machines. Also, I am forced to mention that traveling in one of these vehicles makes one’s pocket shrink considerably faster than the slot machines in a casino.

Hence, my quest for a convenient mode of transport to the office to reach just-in-time is thwarted even before it starts!

And the consequence is that the travel to earn my bread and butter involves maximum amount of discomfort and inconvenience. To start, I have to get on to one of those unseemly four-wheeled giants that ply the roads at the crack of dawn. Why crack of dawn? That is to avoid the claustrophobia induced irritability at the office. This journey is flagged off from a stop close to my residence at 0730hrs. But the journey is incomplete as the vehicle travels only ¾ of my destination. For the rest I am forced to take a three-wheeled transport.

The end result: I land in the office a good ½ an hour in advance.

At this juncture I am forced to ask the question - what do I do once I get to the office???

Under normal circumstances I would have a lot to do… and my ½ hr will be well utilized. But this is no normal circumstance … I am a new recruit here… I have been assigned a task but I need to be properly introduced in order to start the day’s work. So here I am twiddling my thumbs in the early hours of the day. I have been asked to chill out for a couple of days. So here I am, sitting right under the swinging nose of the Air-Conditioner, chilling out.

I have read every single magazine, write-up I can lay my hands on … in order to read I have stuck matchsticks through my eyelids to keep my drowsy eyes open. My sleep-drenched brain singularly lacks comprehensive power so I decided to awaken it by writing. So here I am typing out this junk in order to keep myself awake. I fear that if I chill out anymore the tiny, shriveled, almost dead grey cells inside my head will get frozen!!!

Its Crime and Punishment

Yes...

Dostoyevsky is truly amazing... I have been reading for the last 2 days "Crime and Punishment" and WOW... actually I read this book when I was around 17, got it from the college library... but it somehow didn't make the same impression.

And now I am unable to put the book down... next on list is The Brothers Karamazov. I just thought i'd take some timeout from reading and that is how I landed in front of the computer and started some more reading! Now I am off to help feed my son... thensome grocery shopping...

Am happy that it is Sunday!!!

Merin's Must Do List - Post II

I have decided that my Must Do List will have just 10 items. The list will not be ambiguous and will have specific activities or targets that I need to achieve within my life time... post lifetime... I'll blog from after life!

21 February 2008
You know its been agessince I started this post ... and I still have not been able to make my Must Do List. Christ! How I have come to lead such a singularly purposeless life - I do not know!

I have not yet started on item 1 of the list. I have been pondering and wondering - nothing seems to catch my fancy!

Pre marriage was a different story - I did what my mind told me. My mind said "Merin Go there" - and I went! It said "Merin Do that" - and I did!

Post marriage and post one sweet adorable kid... my mind is as blank as it can ever get! Does marriage do that to everyone or has it just done that to me?

My To Do List...

This is a directive on what I want from my life. It is not just To Do... it is Must Do ... This is not a list of various activities I have to do ... it is not something I create everyday!... No...

This is a list I want for life! May be I'll call it my must do list then! Yes...

Merin's Must Do List...

The issue with a to do list is that - one has to do something about it! :)... I know it sounds silly!

I have a feeling that creating the list will not be the issue... the issue will to to create the action plan to implement the list! Creating a To Do List is an action plan for life... now this is scary!

When I started making the list, I realised that merely writing the words will not do... it has to be well thought out and each thing I must do in life before I kicked the bucket must add something to me... the more I think about it the more I have come to fear the list... I am defining my life with the list... what happens if the definition stays incomplete or undoable...

The only reason the list will remain undoable is because I do not permit it... I will have no one else to blame... I am responsible for the list!

God... What have I got myself into?

Map of Bones

I was reading James Rollins "Map of Bones" and completed the book yesterday night. I bought the book cause I liked "Judas Strain" by the same author. But 'Map of Bones' was a letdown!

Want to buy the book The Time of Our Singing... have been eyeing it for long... never got around to buying it!

What else do I do with all the time in my hands now. Yes I play with my son, I read, I hate cooking so I don't do it (And I thank the almighty for a wonderful Mom-in law), I ocassionaly write- what else? what else??

Am planning on going to Kalashetra tomorrow... a crafts show is happening there - so that may prove interesting... that apart I will also get to meet Rushad (Danesh's Son)

Tomorrow is Pongal - the Tamil Nadu Harvest festival... am looking forward to eating some yummy sweets!!!

Mid noon- Another day

Thank fully we have sent all pravasis home. So now I am back to mundane things in office and ofcourse I have been reading and reading and reading...

Started with few book reviews so visited Guardian and did a search for the book - no help there... then checked the rest of the web - of the 22 reviews I read on a book -11 were for it and the rest against - now I am caught in a quandry should I buy it and read - or borrow- read it then buy?

On book reviews - well I have learnt not to trust any of them any which ways - they just tend to confuse!

WOW... Another year just ran past me!!!

2008... You just ran past me!
There I was meandering through 2007...
Blissfully unaware that come December and
My life was about to change!

2008... You just ran past me!
First, Pa Drake left... then I left the team...
All that remained was Hema:)
So she joined another team

2008... You just ran past me!
The rest of the year was clouded in pain
With brief intermissions of relief.
Then suddenly it was the very last day of the year!

2008... You just ran past me!
What have I got to show for the year gone by
What has become of the grand plans and small schemes
By god What am I? - Woman or____

2008... You just ran past me!

Wow... and how my life changed!